Where Are We Going?
by Mage of Dragons
Summary: Remus, she says, can't you see it's futile? You would never hurt me. How can you know, Tonks? I don't even know me when I change. And after, I hate myself for it. I can't risk it. Remus and Tonks have a fight. sligtly AU, or midDH.


**_A/N: Okay, so this is my first HP fic. For those who don't know me, I write mostly Tamora Pierce stuff. This just came to me while listening to Lupin's Tale. At like 12 at night. So I thought I'd share it. P.S. It's been updated! I don't know why they always screw up my lyrics!!!_**

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**Lupin's Tale (where are we going)  
**by Oliver Boyd and the Rememberalls 

If I come to you and you come to me  
Where are we going  
Your pretty bright hair is all that I see  
But where are we going

_If I come to you and you come to me  
Where are we going  
Your pretty bright hair is all that I see  
But where are we going  
__  
**Oh I cannot deny that when I look at you I see a future**  
Baby with a little time we could make it and be together  
But all that I can say_

_If I come to you and you come to me  
Where are we going  
Your pretty bright hair is all that I see  
But where are we going_

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As he walks through the kitchen, he turns to face her. "Tonks, no. For the thousandth time, no. I cannot be around here, even with the potion. It's too much to risk." His face is weary.

"Why, Remus? Do you think that you'd ever hurt me? Or Teddy?" Color is rising through her hair, sparking through it like little bolts of lightning.

He stares down at his feet. "We-I-can't risk it." He says softly, twisting his ring on his finger. "I couldn't bare it…"

"Well, Remus, can't you see that _I _can't bear it? I _love _you. I trust you, more than anyone in the world. Why won't you trust yourself? What's the point of all of this-" she spread her arms wide- "if you don't love it enough to stay?"

He raises his face to stare into her eyes. _She doesn't understand…_"That's the problem, Tonks. It's not that I don't love it—it's that I love it- I love you, and Teddy, too much. And, and… when you love someone, you'll do anything you can to keep them safe, and happy, even if it makes you unhappy."

"Well, I'm _not_ happy. And I don't feel _safe_ without you," she added, in a sudden display of weakness. He could see it is the truth; it was written plainly in the tears that shone, unshed, in her eyes. "Remus," she pleads, "can't you see how futile this is? Just stay home, for once, let me sit with you. I _know _you. I _trust _you. You would never hurt me," she states, her eyes defiant.

"How do you know, Tonks? How do you know? You don't know me when I turn werewolf. No one can. I don't even know _me, _but I hate myself afterwards for it. You don't know what it feels like…" his voice trails off, disturbed.

"No, I don't know. But you won't let me try to help at all."

"I can't let you. Don't you see, Tonks? It hurts too much. That night… the night at Hogwarts, when I transformed, my last thought was "what would I do if I hurt Harry?" He's James' son. James, who was like a brother to me! But I almost did… Don't you see? If I hurt you, or Teddy, what could I do? How could I ever live with myself then?

And no matter what, you have to live. Teddy can't be an orphan, he can't lose us both. You've seen it with Harry, how much it hurts him, or how hard it is to be orphaned from society. At least with you, he has a chance to have a good life. And when I'm gone…" he swallowed painfully, "he'll still have his mother; he'll still have family, someone to run to if he ever needs to. He'll have the things that matter the most."

"Remus," says Tonks softly; he can tell from her voice that she is hurt. "How can you ever think like that?" She runs a gentle hand down the side of his cheek, the other pressing on his heart. "Look at all that we have; look at the miracles we've seen…together. Nothing can change that."

He turns away, hurt by her sadness, by the trouble he has put his family through, and grabs his cloak, heading for the door. "I have to go now," he says to the floor. His steps are heavy, and slow. Tonks breathes a heavy sigh. But, in the end, he only makes it as far as the back yard, and, come morning, he finds himself there, curled around his wife's sleeping form.

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**_A/N: Review? Please? I want to know if you think that Tonks was OOC. I thought she was, a bit. _**


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